A dirty little contest ;)

Saturday, March 11, 2006 at 9:41 PM

This is one for the exhibitionists amongst you...
Ever since doing the interview, I've been inundated with requests to do a proper audio post in here, to let you listen to me as I read an explicitly erotic post to you, so that you can hear me talk dirty to you, and so that you can come deliciously to my voice. I've thought about this for some time, and decided I didn't want to do that here on the blog, that the Dirtyboy site is all about written erotica, and I'd like to keep it that way.

I do, however, have an alternative for you that might interest you...

Given the level of interest there is in hearing me, I've decided to hold a (hopefully fun) contest! The winner of this contest will receive an audio post from me, written just for you. It'll be long and delightfully erotic (you know what to expect, you do read my blog, after all), and it'll be for you alone - I'll say your name, and no-one else but you will hear it, it's only for you, a little something to take to bed with you. Does that sound like something you'd want? I think it might be...

If you want me to talk dirty to you, if you want to listen to me make you come, something special for your ears alone, intimate and sensual and ohhh so dirty - then I'm going to ask something of you... a little challenge for you...

It's a curious thing having a sex blog like this - I get the most delightful comments and emails, and I know my words inspire you to orgasm, and I do love knowing that, it's why I love writing the blog so much. But to be able to hear you... to be able to hear what my words do to you, to be able to hear you cum for me as you read my erotica... that would be just so delicious...

So... to win the prize of a personal audio for your ears alone, I want you to do the same for me, and send me an erotic audio file that will arouse me intensely... and I want to hear you cum for me...

Interested? Then here's the contest guidelines:

1) Find yourself a little privacy, when you won't be disturbed. It can be anywhere you like, I don't mind, but somewhere private (your bed, your office at home etc) where you can enjoy yourself without being disturbed.

2) Find your favourite entry in my blog, something that's guaranteed to make you reach delicious, intense orgasm, something that always works for you.

3) Start recording.

4) Masturbate deliciously, all the way to orgasm for me - extra points if you say my name as you're about to cum ;)

5) Send it to me - knowing how much I'll enjoy hearing you...

I did say this one was only for the exhibitionists amongst you ;)

Okay, if you've read this far, I'm assuming you're interested in the challenge ;) So just to be entirely fair, here are the 'rules' of the contest, and a few pointers for you:


1. The winner will be the audio that I like the best. It's hard to define what I mean by this, as I have no idea what you'll send me, but if you make me cum, it's fair to say you're in with a very good chance of winning! I won't be showing any favouritism, this is open to new and old readers alike, and just because I know you or you're a long time reader doesn't mean you necessarily have an advantage - this is open to all of you, and I'll be as fair as I can be. Any single one of you could win! The audio can be as long or as short as you please - though if it ends up being a long file, see number 9 below...
2. I may get quite a lot of entries. Or I may only get one or two. Consequently, please don't think that entering will automatically get you the prize - I think all the entries are going to be mind-blowingly erotic for me, but there can only be one winner - I hope it's you xx
3. To be fair to everyone, both those who can write and those who can't, this isn't about reading me a dirty story, or trying to seduce me. I just want you to relax, read my words, and cum for me, in whatever manner pleases you. All you need to do is relax and have fun, masturbate for me, reach delicious orgasm - and then do it all over again if you want to - and again! Just have fun and enjoy yourself - think about me right there with you, knowing I'll hear you as you cum.
4. I'm not going to be judging your orgasms. I don't want you to go all 'porn star' on me and thrash and scream and fake a huge orgasm - just do whatever you would do normally. The more real it is, the more intense it'll be for me. It's likely that what'll arouse me the most will be delightful trembling, the sounds of you touching yourself (especially being delightfully wet, I love that), use of toys might well score you points too lol - I honestly don't know for certain, but I'm not judging your orgasm, it'll be whatever arouses me the most, whatever makes me cum deliciously - that's the winner right there. No need to be a porn actress, I just want to hear what you sound like when you masturbate, when you reach orgasm... that's what'll excite me.
5. Videos not allowed for this contest, I'm afraid - whilst it would be lovely, it's not fair to the other entrants. Audio files only please - .wav files, .mpeg files, that's what I'm after, I just want to hear you.
6. To prevent cheating (such as finding a sound file and pretending it's you when it isn't), I'm going to ask you to say my name somewhere in the audio. For the new readers, my name is Roger (pleased to meet you!). If you don't say my name somewhere in the audio, I'll reluctantly have to disqualify you, so please don't forget! There's probably extra points if you say my name just as you're about to come ;)
7. You're obviously going to need a mic to do this. Sorry to those of you who don't have one! You'll need sound recording software too - I recommend the following, which has always worked fine for me and is completely free and easy to use:
Audacity, a free downloadable sound recorder. It works fine on my computer, but don't blame me if it screws up yours! Download at your own risk - any sound recording software would be fine, and there's plenty out there if you google (try 'free sound recorder windows' - something like that).
8. Test the sound recording before you begin, to make sure it's working! I wouldn't want you to indulge in a delightful half hour session or something, only to discover it hasn't recorded you...
9. My email address for the files is: dirtyboy1uk@aol.com
Sound files can be pretty big, and if yours is any bigger than about 9MB, I won't be able to receive it by email, it'll just bounce back to you. For large files (anything bigger than 9MB) I use www.yousendit.com, which is a means of sending large files via the net - when you post it in there, I get notified by email and can download the file. Once I've downloaded it, I'll let you know so that you can remove it. It's safe, secure, free, and no-one else will see the file but me.
10. I'll be announcing the winner by 31st March at the latest - if you don't want your name announced in my blog, please let me know, and I'll make up a suitable pseudonym for you - I don't want you to get caught misbehaving! And please - don't get caught doing it! You'll have your prize of a deliciously filthy audio from me by the first week of April, if not sooner x
11. If you have any more questions, please feel free to email and ask. It goes without saying that any files sent to me will be kept strictly confidential, they won't be passed on elsewhere. They're for me! yum ;)

Oh - deadline! Let's say Friday 31st March, to give you all plenty of time - so you have two weeks from today - go have fun - the contest starts..... NOW! woo hoo! ;)

I'm so looking forward to hearing you, and good luck!

lovely big hugs
roger x


This is such a deliciously dirty little contest you have created Roger. Thinking of you sitting there listening to all of our voices as we cum for you.....positively too much!! I imagine you will be on orgasm overload by the end of it all. But, thinking of hearing your voice saying my name as you describe all of the twisted little things you would like to do to me...mmm, it will be worth it.

So, to my fellow voyers I say "Good Luck Girls".


I hope the prize is a good one - I'm definitely going to record a very dirty audio, though I can't be more specific about the content, as I'll be asking the winner what she wants, so that it's tailored exactly to her tastes. And yes, I'm wondering if I'll be able to walk by the end of the week ;) - I think I'm gonna have lots of fun...

I'm up for the challenge! My orgasm will be to you imminently ;) x


mmmm god... delicious, thankyou... I very much look forward to hearing you DLG xx

MMMMMM, count me in Roger...this is gonna be fun....hehe

mmm... three entrants already, I'm feeling spoiled! Can't wait to hear you Lexie xx

The deadline isn't until the 25th, so for those of you who need something new to inspire you, I'll be posting three or four hopefully delicious posts to get you there over the next couple of weeks, and I'll remind you when it's getting close to the deadline ;)

Mmmmm...nice challenge..sounds like an immense amount of fun to me, and the reward? I might never leave the house again!

hi raindog x - yes, definitely, I'm hoping that just taking part will be fun and exciting, and just a little naughty, and that those who do take part will get pleasure just from turning me on, with the potential of winning the prize just a delightful bonus. And I'm so glad you're taking part - I can't show any favourites, but good luck! If you need any more guidance, here's a couple of suggestions I made to a reader who emailed earlier:
"I have no idea how I'm gonna choose a winner, as I know every single entry is going to turn me on intensely - I think it'll come down to whether I feel the need to listen to it a second time. Any audio file that makes me want to return to it (or which I was unable to finish listening to, because I just had to come) will automatically make the short list, and then I guess it'll be down to things we can't predict - how intense is it, is there something about it that makes it stand out, did I get so turned on that I could barely take it... that sort of thing, I think. Just be natural, and relaxed, enjoying yourself as you would when alone, that's what I'd love from you - be yourself, and have fun"

Hope that helps - and I'm very much looking forward to hearing you ;) xx

ah, you dirty limey perv. lol. good for you. i hope you get scads of breathless, panting, gasping recordings of gutteral groans and moans.

i shall respectfully bow out of the competition, heh, but i understand how you'd be getting off on it, for sure.

i have a healthy dose of respect for aural pleasure.

steff - obviously I'm a little disappointed, but I can live with it I suppose! ;)
Just get that podcast idea of yours up and running, and I'll listen to that lasciviously instead ;)
And yes, it looks like everyone thinks it's gonna be a fun contest - I'm definitely going to have to repay this enthusiasm with some really filthy posts over the next couple of weeks to help out...

*sigh* you have already heard me cum, so out of the running...have fun with this...what a great idea....and to hear you...mmmmm

You're absolutely not out of the running - I've heard you cum on your own site, but you haven't cum for me, intimately, secretly, for my ears alone... you have a delightful voice, and I'd very much love to hear you do a file just for me - this contest is open to everyone, whether you've had an audio on your own site, or even if you've sent one to me previously. All are welcome to join in the fun ;)
Just don't forget to mention my name in the audio if you do decide to take part - and please do, you'll have fun, I'm sure x

lol - what about sound files that may have previously been sent to you just for the hell of it? do they qualify? ;)

a lot of people like contests
: )

hee hee hee
"...and so with the sudden increase in sales concerning mics, and the upmost google search being 'free sound programs'
you just have to wonder, what new phenomenon is gracing the surfers of the net today...?"

Having various voices saying your name in throes of estacy (cheeky lil rule no 7) :P
boy are you gonna have some sweet dreams for months to come ^^

But it seems you've throughly thought bout this, esp rule no4, tis sound advice ^^

Oh, why i've come outta Lurksville for a moment.

Rule 5: wav and mpeg files.
wav files = very nasty huge ass uncompressed files
even a minute or two of recording can seriously surpass 9mb, your inbox is gonna feel it, if not keel over and die.

Lil word of advice software wise, another option is 'Goldwave' or 'Sound Editor' (Pro or not)
I've heard a few good comments about Goldwave, although I've been using Audacity for years so i prefer that.

Also roger, you should be asking for .mp3 files, since the sizes will be kinder on your inbox
(months worth of entries?) ^^;

Also also...
(hee hee, pardon my tecchie side)
If contestants have 'Winzip' or any other zipping program, that should compress files even more, please use them.

Zipped .mp3 files (smallest file sizes around at the mo) make it quicker to upload and send to Roger and faster for him to download and not have his inbox die on him and then you guys get bounced emails.
So hopefully entry submissions would be smoother over the month. ^^

That's all, thought to impart some words of tecchie advice since i'm kinda involved in areas concerning mass audio files. ^^

Apart from that, contestants and judge alike,
have fun ;)


*Goes back to hopping about waiting for paris 5*
(hint hint, lol)

PPS: (copy/paste link if it doesn't work)
You pondering what I'm pondering...? ^_~

nez - nope, older sound files don't qualify ;) Those delightful girls who *ahem* might have sent something like this to me before will just have to enter all over again if they want to win the prize - though to be fair to you, the prize is more likely to go to someone I haven't heard before, or cries of nepotism will be heard loud and clear lol - I still want you to enter anyway though, if only for the pleasure of hearing you again ;)

jen - and here was me thinking you'd just giggle at the idea and mock me mercilessly ;) - I'd love to hear you, definitely, and contests are fun ;)

mystique - brilliantly funny lol - oh, and here's a quick snuggly hug for coming out of lurksville ***hugs***
And all good advice - mpegs would be far better, I agree, but I wanted to make it easy for those not too technically minded - so long as they use 'yousendit' instead of emailing me the files, I don't mind if they're excessively huge - but the advice is all good! I won't add it to the post, as I'm assuming readers will see the comments - thankyou xx
So does that mean you'll be entering...? ;)
and I love your word verification - I'm still hoping for 'unnnfuckk' one day soon lol
oh - and yes, Paris 5 is imminent, but given that I should do everything to assist in the contest, expect another couple of weeks of filthy individual posts first - I promise we'll get back to Paris as soon as we've passed the deadline, I'm eager to return myself x

Aww, well now isn't this a shame. I would so love to enter myself into this contest, if only I could. Good luck to all the girls out there who can, and congrats to the awfully lucky winner who wins the prize :)

psy - as one of the girls who was so adamant about wanting to hear me, it's a shame you can't enter, but I very much appreciate that not everyone has the necessary privacy (or the inclination) to be able to do so. I'll do a 'public' audio post sometime soon, I'm sure - in the meantime, you do have my 30 minute interview - just listen to it again, and remind yourself that I was naked in bed for the entire interview - and picture yourself as the girl doing the interviewing - perhaps in bed next to me - and let your mind wander... it'll work just as well... ;) xx

oooh, i got a snuggly hug! :D
my life is complete!
and indeed you are a very nice man, very very nice man (you ever see the AA ad?)
okay me behave now.
To be honest, after hearing u were 'inundated' i just had to then listen to the interview to see what the fuss was about.

methinks a good 90% of ur readers are american now, lol.
Your interviewer was bewitched nearer the end, kinda more breathy methinks *grin*
very suave accent, pierce brosnan was the first thing that came to my mind and then your chuckle...
dangerous weapon that :P
kinda cheeky, kinda provocative, kinda transmitting all naughty whispered things unsaid, no wonder they wanna hear ya ^^

As for me, i was more trying to pinpoint your county - not a scouser for one (and social class too, couldn't help it), me being a cockney lass myself I can't help but think of my reaction being one after I've seen a 'carry on' movie;
naughty and nice, but a lil funny ^^;
So better off to someone who'll truly appreciate you. *hug*
(not that i don't) :P
but ooh!

*high fives*
for brit slang usuage, isn't 'can't be arsed' the greatest excuse ever, lol.
Same goes for 'dodgy' too. Top of my adjective list.

Sooo, Paris after comp... end march/april... jan-april...
ah well, guess i carry on hopping about for a lil while longer but now i got a snuggly hug to take back ^^

Saying that, back to Lurksville for me.
*takes snuggly hug and waves*
bye bye ^^


Mystique - yes, most of my readers (though by no means all) are American, which I think is why they like my voice lol. I'm actually from 'oop north' but my accent is a bit mixed from moving around here and there (and 'cause I'm posh and stuff). oh yes.

*is thinking of what to send*

Paige - remember that I need to hear you say my name somewhere in the audio, so you're almost certainly going to have to do something special for this if you're planning to take part (and I hope you do). I'm wondering what else you have stored away now ;)
No need for anything elaborate, remember, just relax, play, enjoy yourself and cum delightfully for me. And most of all - have fun! xx

I would love to participate, alas, the privacy required to accomplish such a task is rarely within my reach. I'm sure you'll have plenty of delicious orgasms courtesy of the entrants. I know I would. I love to hear someone cum. Have fun, Roger, and good luck to those who are participating. :)

-TC (formerly silver tongued devil wench)

PS - Here's the link to my blog http://complex-cunt.livejournal.com/ I thought you might want to have a look. :)

TC - yes, if there's any risk at all of discovery, I'd prefer you (and indeed any of my other readers to whom this applies) not to participate - the last thing I want is to cause a row at home, this is really only for those for whom the necessary privacy isn't too much of a problem - and if any of you ARE planning to do this secretly, please (please) don't get caught, and my own discretion with whatever you send me is faithfully promised and guaranteed. I won't be revealing who has sent me a file, and will only announce the name of the winner if they want me to - otherwise I'll be making up a name for them.
Sorry to hear you can't take part, TC, and yes, I'll add your blog to my blogroll - it looks like I may well have fun in there ;)

Naughti Roger..
you want girls to do dirty things for you!

But oh my, we are willing...

I very much hope you are willing Ann, I'd definitely love to hear you come, and the prize for the winner, I hope, is a good one. If you do accept the challenge, have fun, enjoy yourself, and I'll very much look forward to listening to you ;) x

Yes, I do have that interview of you, and I've been able to memorize your voice from playing it so much. My girlfriend (cee, you might remember her) says I listen to it as often as I do other songs on my computer. But you cant blame me for wanting to ;)

psy - such compliments, thankyou x
Now if only the interview had been half an hour longer, I wouldn't have needed to do this contest! ;)

mmm....what a devilish, yet lip-licking idea! If only I can pull such a stunt....yes, I can imagine myself calling your name, but I do not think I have the balls ( or in my case, ovaries) to actually go through with it (:

If only I had a dirty mind like yours; what a great way to fulfill one of your fantasies!!! Well good luck ladies (gentlemen?)

(sighs) If only I can hear you whisper my name in that naughty voice of yours....

Mahemma - yes, this really is just one for the naughty exhibitionists out there - though you do have a couple of weeks to change your mind, there's no rush. Remember, this isn't going to be broadcast to the nation, any files sent to me will never go further than my hard drive, and no-one but me will know you even sent one. Absolute discretion promised and guaranteed, and think of the prize... ;)

But yes, I completely understand your nervousness, and I can't blame you wanting to sit this one out - I'm a little worried about what the winner is going to ask for from me, but ah well, I'm sure I'll have fun! ;)

Oh Roger, you sexy man, what a delightful idea. I am getting excited right now just thinking about recording my orgasm for you. Even if I don't win, it will be worth it, just so you can hear what you do to me. Wish I could leave work right now and run home. It will have to wait till tonight... xx

cathy - I'm glad you love the idea so much! Hope you have lots of fun recording your audio ;) - I'm very much looking forward to receiving it! Is it tonight yet...? ;)

Roger, you really are the naughty boy aren't you. Well, I'll have to see what I can do. ;)

suze - yes I am very naughty indeed, and I probably need to be punished ;)
And I hope you do join in, you know I'd very much love to hear you (mmm my god) xx ;)

how about a consolation prize just for entering?
The winner will receive a delightful "just for her" audio, but maybe you could send an audio to all wh enter.. perhaps reading one of your previous posts.... just an idea ;)


hi welshsupergirl - I did think about doing that, but I thought it might spoil the competitive aspect of the contest - also (perhaps more importantly) I wanted to make sure that the only girls who enter are those who want to do it just for fun, who are excited by the idea of submitting an audio whether they win or not. Offering an audio to every girl who enters would potentially result in some doing it just to get an audio, and I think that's probably unfair and a little devious. The prize should be just a bonus, this is all about the fun of entering and being a little naughty for the night.
So does that mean you're thinking of entering? ;) xx

Wow. Very intriguing Roger. Sounds fun too!

It should indeed be fun, green eyes! Hope you decide to take part! x

awww shame..at the no consolation prize, but i do see where youre coming from...trouble is, my next suggestion was going to be a mini audio just for "thinking" of entering ;)


you want me to give you a prize for not doing anything at all? You're such a greedy girl ;) x

I'm kinda hoping somebody like DLG can do something for us blokes to mirror your contest :D

wouldn't that be lovely? Though she'd probably make us beg for it ;)

Thanks for adding me to your blogroll, Roger. As far as I know, you're the first. So, thanks for breaking my blogroll cherry. lol

I hope to have a new post up later tonight (my time).


Mois? Greedy?...oh absolutely!.. but isnt that the way you like us? begging and baying, voracious and insatiable....


TC - very much my pleasure - I love the way you write ;) x

welshsupergirl - absolutely, that's exactly how I like you ;) xx

I cant do this personally but i think its a great idea which should be done several times in differnet forms

Naturally, I'm rather keen on the idea muyself ;)

Now there's an intriguing idea Kyma... I rather like it, what do you think dirtyboy? ;)

DLG - I think you should do it ;)

Mine's been sent Roger. I was such a dirty little girl for you ;)

DLG - and I'm listening to you as I type... ohh my god... you really are such a dirty little girl... just extraordinarily gorgeous, thankyou... you're making me want you... mmm god... think I need to cum to this... xxx

roger, i'm yours ... your eternal dirty little slut ...

i sat down to a full evening of work, found your site, started stroking myself and 20+ orgasms later, i'm ready to spread my thighs or ass for you any day


fuck me, roger, fuuuuuuucckk meeeeee

dirtylittleslut - I'm glad you found me - hope you're having fun in the archives (and you clearly are... ;) ) - and it would be a pleasure to fuck you... xx

Oooooh, I think that this is meant to be! Your last post on this was on my birthday! :)

I want to play...

Count me in...I don't care if I have to use my phone!


I can come for you Roger...I do already so why not tape it.

I just need to get dripping wet...I am still lactating so that has a tendency to really dry things up elsewhere...

Want to taste my milk? It's very very sweet.

such a disgracefully naughty girl - but then I like naughty girls, of course ;)

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